My life needs more good and nice people.
My life needs less drama-mamas and horrible, bad, mean people.
My life needs more smiles and laughing.
My life needs more sunshine and warmth.
I need more money, aka a job that isn't mind-numbing like the library.
I need a job that I won't dread going to. So that I'll actually go.
I need to feel more focused and organized.
I need less clutter.
I need more encouragement.
I need to be told daily that I'm loved by the people who care about me. And I'm not talking about Nick, because he does that. I'm talking about my friends, my family, etc.
I need to get out more.
I want to travel. To places I love and to places I've never been.
I need to fix my laptop, so that I have my shift and v keys back.
I really hope I get that ZooCamp Counselor job for this summer.
I want to go spend time in Africa. I want to go there and volunteer at C.A.R.E. among other things.
I want to do the international volunteers summer program that URI does. One of their wildlife volunteering ones, with the adventure package, too.
I want to go back to dance classes.
I want to get a keyboard and take piano lessons and eventually get a real piano.
I want to record a song with Nick and stop being so scared about it. And stop being so picky with the song. And do an open mic at the coffee house on campus.
I want to read the Lord of the Rings books.
I want to learn more about photography, and maybe even get certified so that I can take wildlife photographs in the future.
I want to learn how to draw and how to paint.
I want to actually finish writing a story. If I can actually come up with a decent idea.
I don't want to fight with anyone over things that don't even matter in the end.
I want to be able to let things go.
I want to feel capable of accomplishing my daily responsibilities without it seeming so difficult to go anywhere.
I want to be accepted by people for who I really am and everyone who doesn't can go fuck themselves because you aren't worth a damn second of my time.
I want the people who want to hang out with me to let me know, because I'm paranoid that nobody really wants to right now.
I want to stop feeling so distracted all the time. Like I can't concentrate.
I don't want to care what other people think.
I don't want to feel so alone anymore, because I know that I'm not.
I want to spend more quality time with the people who matter.
I want to feel good about myself. Feel beautiful. Feel intelligent. Feel worth something.
I want to make a difference. I want to really help conserve our wildlife, our resources, and our planet. I wish people could understand how important things like recycling and the size of their ecological footprint really are.
I want to live with Nick and ONLY Nick. Sure, I live with him now and have for a while, but there have always been extra people involved.
I never want to fail a class again (especially since they were for really retarded reasons on my behalf, like not going to class enough). And I don't intend to.
I want to take time to savor the small things: a dog hanging out of a car window. The sunrise and the sunset. Inside jokes. Enjoying the company of my siblings. Zoya's eyes. Pebbles pawing. Didi yawning. The Golden Girls and AFV.
Everyone should know that Nick and I are in agreement: this is forever. And anyone who disrespects that has got another thing coming.
I want to learn from my mistakes and push forward as a better person.
I don't want Zoya to die. But it's coming, and I'm terrified that I won't be there, or won't have seen her in too long.
